My Nightmare
I am incredibly ashamed. I just looked at my body in the mirror tonight and started crying. In the past two months, I must have gained like 15 pounds. Looking at my figure, I'm honestly heavier than I was at this time two years ago. I am 100% repulsed looking in the mirror. Something horrible happened over the past couple of months to my body.
I can barely run these days. I can feel the weight I'm carrying with me. I've had the most horrible sleeping patterns lately also. I can't wake up in the morning. On Friday I woke up at 9:30, when I was supposed to be at work an hour before. I didn't get in until 10:30 as a result. Last night I stayed up until 5am. I just couldn't get to sleep. I feel horrific. I'm sluggish, energyless, and even my skin is suffering seriously.
I don't know if its a multivariable problem. I'm trying to think about all of the changes that I've had in the past two months. The fact that I'm happy is probably the top one. Fat and happy? Honestly, I'm considering pulling away from the relationship I'm in just so I can remember to focus on myself and get back in shape. Remember what is important to me again.
I've started drinking coffee, which I was doing before, but its definitely a heavier consumption now. I need to just cut that out, I guess. I've been staying up later and watching more TV. I should find other activities for the evenings. I've been strapped for money, so I haven't been buying a ton of good stuff lately. Because I sleep in, I don't go to the gym in the morning and don't have time to put together a meal. Work is super busy and stressful which has been cutting into a ton of gym time in the evenings also. I sit at this machine all day, so I just kind of snack as I do it and eat my lunch. When I'm so sedentary, I don't think I should be even needing normal sized meals. Especially since I'm not making it to work out.
I had for the most part returned to my meal plan from the nutritionist, but I know that some bad stuff has slipped in. It all feels like its coming back to the coffee though. I was never a coffee drinker and I think therein lies chunk of my problem and likely attributes to my troubled sleep, which affects everything else.
What next?
It was a wake up call staring at my body in the mirror tonight. A scary, horrible wake up call. I need to reverse it immediately. I've still retained the majority of my strength, so I think a lot of this is energy levels and fat - nutrition/diet.
I'm going to bed early tonight to help get my system back on track. I plan to go to the gym in the mornings this week or go running, minimum 3 miles.
I signed up for a 5k event on December 15th. I want to run it at 25min. That would put me at an 8:20 min/mile. To reach that goal, I'm setting a weekly mileage minimum at 18 miles per week. Not a lot, but still enough to keep me focused. That should mean one medium run and three short runs.
I lost a lot of speed when I started going long distance. My main goal right now is to drop that down while building up my push skills with sprints.
The Particulars
I am incredibly ashamed. I just looked at my body in the mirror tonight and started crying. In the past two months, I must have gained like 15 pounds. Looking at my figure, I'm honestly heavier than I was at this time two years ago. I am 100% repulsed looking in the mirror. Something horrible happened over the past couple of months to my body.
I can barely run these days. I can feel the weight I'm carrying with me. I've had the most horrible sleeping patterns lately also. I can't wake up in the morning. On Friday I woke up at 9:30, when I was supposed to be at work an hour before. I didn't get in until 10:30 as a result. Last night I stayed up until 5am. I just couldn't get to sleep. I feel horrific. I'm sluggish, energyless, and even my skin is suffering seriously.
I don't know if its a multivariable problem. I'm trying to think about all of the changes that I've had in the past two months. The fact that I'm happy is probably the top one. Fat and happy? Honestly, I'm considering pulling away from the relationship I'm in just so I can remember to focus on myself and get back in shape. Remember what is important to me again.
I've started drinking coffee, which I was doing before, but its definitely a heavier consumption now. I need to just cut that out, I guess. I've been staying up later and watching more TV. I should find other activities for the evenings. I've been strapped for money, so I haven't been buying a ton of good stuff lately. Because I sleep in, I don't go to the gym in the morning and don't have time to put together a meal. Work is super busy and stressful which has been cutting into a ton of gym time in the evenings also. I sit at this machine all day, so I just kind of snack as I do it and eat my lunch. When I'm so sedentary, I don't think I should be even needing normal sized meals. Especially since I'm not making it to work out.
I had for the most part returned to my meal plan from the nutritionist, but I know that some bad stuff has slipped in. It all feels like its coming back to the coffee though. I was never a coffee drinker and I think therein lies chunk of my problem and likely attributes to my troubled sleep, which affects everything else.
What next?
It was a wake up call staring at my body in the mirror tonight. A scary, horrible wake up call. I need to reverse it immediately. I've still retained the majority of my strength, so I think a lot of this is energy levels and fat - nutrition/diet.
I'm going to bed early tonight to help get my system back on track. I plan to go to the gym in the mornings this week or go running, minimum 3 miles.
I signed up for a 5k event on December 15th. I want to run it at 25min. That would put me at an 8:20 min/mile. To reach that goal, I'm setting a weekly mileage minimum at 18 miles per week. Not a lot, but still enough to keep me focused. That should mean one medium run and three short runs.
I lost a lot of speed when I started going long distance. My main goal right now is to drop that down while building up my push skills with sprints.
The Particulars
- 100 push-ups for 50 days challenge
- no more coffee
- 18 mile/week minimum running
- Bed by 10pm, DV-R any shows I want to watch afterwards
- gym or run every morning
- for the next week, log all food consumption to enhance awareness of what I'm eating and drinking
- attend all weekly classes
- Opt for swimming as cardio once per week
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